In the past 2 weeks I've had 3 IEP meetings. The first was for Alex. He has been in speech therapy to correct some letter sounds. This meeting was actually to sign off on ending his therapy. He decided one day that he would fix his sounds and get out of speech! He was diligent and quickly fixed his sounds and he has been very consistent since then. I am so proud of him for recognizing and fixing the problem!!
The next meeting was for Lauren. Her meeting was just her annual meeting to review and set new goals. It was the best meeting I've had with her team and I appreciated connecting with her teachers and therapists better. She has made some great improvements this year in preschool. The biggest struggle she has is that she wants to do everything in her own way and on her own time! The teachers and I exchanged ideas and suggestions and I felt like we were working together to support Lauren. It was great. We also spent quite a bit of time going over her results from NIH. We talked at length about the vision problems that she will inevitably have and discussed things to watch for with her. I was so impressed that I could do that without getting emotional! I feel like I can talk about the future without really connecting that it will really happen. It's a strange disconnect in my head.
The last meeting was to review Tyler's NIH results with his IEP team. Again, it was an interesting hour of talking about devastating realities in a very detached, matter of fact kind of way. Tyler's vision therapist reported on how extremely quickly Tyler is learning Braille, that he has a real gift for learning it. I was so happy to hear that but a thought popped into my head that maybe he has been given that gift to learn because he's going to need it. The thought hurt and caught me off guard. I didn't want to cry so I pushed it aside.
I am starting to learn that I can be strong when I need to be but the emotions will hit me at some point. That point seems to have come today. I think I push the emotions away and try not to feel them and then it makes me feel terrible inside after a while. So today I'm giving myself a day to feel the emotions and hurt a little for my kids. Sharing these feelings are part of my effort to feel them and move forward. I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow but for today I'm content to be a little down.
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