Friends

This morning, while driving the kids to school, I thought about how great it is that my kids are friends with eachother. Alex has been working on writing and drawing a comic book for the past few days. He sat in the back of the car reading it to Abby on the way to school. She would laugh at the funny jokes and I know that made Alex so happy!

This is a picture of Alex and Abby on the trampoline with their Webkinz. They are always coming up with fun games to play with the stuffed animals.

At night, when they should be going to bed, Alex and Tyler bond in their room. They play games, build legos, and generally irritate their mom and dad who really want them to go to sleep! But I love that they are downstairs making memories that they'll remember when they are older.

I have many fond memories of when I shared a bed with my little sister as a kid. They are memories that we still joke about to this day. I love to see my kids making those kinds of memories with their siblings.

I also love that they are kind to eachother. Last week I caught this cute moment between Tyler and Alex. They are watching a show in the computer together. I love Alex's arm around Tyler.

They are a bunch of ragamuffins as Nate would say but they are my mine and I love them!

Back Story

Part of the reason I started this blog was to have an outlet to express some crazy emotions I've been feeling for the past 9 month (no I'm not pregnant!). I needed a place to share what's happening in my life and I needed an outlet to vent at times. So, I thought I'd share what's been going on the past 9 months.

Last November, I attended a Time Out For Women conference in SLC. I wasn't planning on going. In fact, it was a very last minute thing. Even as I was driving to it I was wondering why I was going. I had been away from home too much recently and I was feeling a little guilty for leaving Nate with the kids again. But, I went anyway! Two of the presenters were Linda Eyre and her daughter Shawni Pothier. I was enjoying their presentation and really caught onto the phrase of being a deliberate mother. It's something that I had never given much thought to before. Somewhere in there presentation, Shawni showed a picture of her youngest daughter named Lucy. Lucy reminded me of Lauren. I instantly felt a connection to her. Shawni mentioned that Lucy had been born with an extra toe and had some developmental delays and that she had an eye disease that would cause her to lose her vision. Since Tyler and Lauren had been born with extra fingers and toes I was even more drawn to that cute little Lucy. At one point during the conference I wanted to buy a book written by Linda and Shawni that had a picture of Lucy on the front cover. I couldn't even look at the book without getting emotional because of the strong feelings I was having.

The day after TOFW I decided to look up Shawni's blog called 71 toes. I read about Lucy and looked up some information about the syndrome Lucy has. It's called Bardet-Biedl Syndrome. As I looked at the list of markers for the syndrome I was shocked. It was describing Tyler better than anything I had ever read. I sat and stared at the computer screen in disbelief for a while. I couldn't believe that after so many years I could have really stumbled onto what Tyler has and most likely what Lauren has by going to TOFW! It seemed to fit perfectly but I was having a hard time believing it. I knew that I needed to find out more information but I didn't even know where to start! What followed over the next couple of months were little miracles that showed me that I was on the right track. I was able to get in touch with Shawni Pothier and visit with her a bit. I was able to find another mother near me with 2 children with the same syndrome. I was able to find a local pediatrician who has experience with the syndrome and I was able to get an appointment with genetics with only a 2 month wait instead of the 9 month wait that I had initially made! There are long stories that accompany each of those events but it's too much information to share at this time.

Even though I had strong feelings that I had found out what Tyler and Lauren had I still hit a road block mentally when I thought about the "going blind" part of the syndrome. Most people with the syndrome have Retinitis Pigmentosa which is a degenerative eye disease that causes significant vision loss. I just couldn't imagine that my kids had that. I felt that if my kids didn't have the eye disease then we might not have the syndrome. If they did have the eye disease then we did. I knew a lot was riding on that information. We scheduled an ERG for Tyler in March. It is the test that would tell us whether he had RP or not. He had to be sedated to perform the test. I sat in the same day surgery waiting room of Primary Childrens. I've been there a number of times before so I knew how it would work. After the procedure was the done the doctor would come in and sit with me to tell me how it went. I watched a number of doctors come in and visit with parents. I wondered why they were there and what hard things they were going through. Finally, Dr. Hoffman walked in to talk with me, only this time it was different, he invited me to a seperate room to talk. My heart immediately sank. I knew that was the "bad news" room. He told me that Tyler did have RP and that he would most likely lose a lot of vision by high school. Looking back, I feel like my whole world changed at that moment. I cried for a moment and then had to pull it together quickly to listen to what the doctor had to say. As I left that day I didn't know what to think or feel. The only emotion that I could make any sense of was the feeling of gratitude. That day I learned that we did for sure have that syndrome and I learned that without a doubt I was led to that TOFW in November for a reason. I had prayed for 10 years to know what was wrong with Tyler. I had prayed to be led to answers and I had prayed for help. When I went to TOFW I didn't know what I would find there. I know that Heavenly Father put me there that day as an answer to years of prayer. I felt so grateful that I now knew what we were dealing with.

Since then I've had a lot of sad moments. The spring months are quite a blur to me at this point. I slipped into some sort of survival mode for a bit. I feel completely overwhelmed by what lays ahead of us with Tyler and Lauren. I am still learning about this syndrome and actually only know very little about it still. But, I have felt supported by angels both seen and unseen. I have gained a greater testimony that prayers are answered. And I have learned to appreciate the term "tender mercies". I always thought that was the most overused phrase. I now have a greater appreciation for tender mercies and how they show us the love that Heavenly Father has for us.

So there you have it....that's my back story!

Entitlement

Last spring I was introduced to a blog called Power of Moms. It as a gathering place for "deliberate" mothers. I would not call myself deliberate. Most days I am simply trying to get through the day without losing my mind. When I came across this group I started to get inspired that I could do better. I started seeing that by changing my attitude I could be a much more effective mother and I could also enjoy my kids more. It has given me inspiration and tools to make changes in my home that will hopefully make a huge difference in the long run.

Through Power of Moms I have also learned about this new book coming out called The Entitlement Trap by Linda and Richard Eyre. I am so excited about this book because I agree with the authors that entitlement is a major problem in our society. I am excited to read this book and get some good ideas of what I can do to help avoid this problem with my kids as they get older. The authors are offering a discount for people who pre-order the book and are also offering a free giveaway for pre-ordering. Just go to http://entitlementtrap.com/giveaway.htm. Check out the book and see if you think it might have some benefit for your family.

Smiles

Yesterday was an interesting day. I'm not sure why, but I noticed a few smiles. Now, I am sure these smiles happen everyday but yesterday they really caught my attention.

The first was Alex's smile. Alex tends to wake up on the wrong side of the bed every now and then. Yesterday was one of those days. He came up the stairs with a growl. Waiting at the top of the stairs to meet him was Ferby, our dog. Alex sat next to Ferby, look the dog right in the eyes and starred at him. After a second, Ferby licked Alex's face. It was so cute to see the smile stretch accross Alex's face. I had the thought This is why we have that dog!

The next smile I noticed was Lauren's. Lately, this smile has been very hard to come by! She has a binky in her mouth at all times! Yes, I know she's 3. I'm working on it! I have been trying hard to take that binky away during the day and yesterday I followed through on my plans and took it away. We had a fun game out and Abby was playing with Lauren. I saw smiles and laughs that I hadn't seen in a while from Lauren. It was so great to see her happy and see her face light up when Abby plays with her. It reminded me that the effort to extract the binky from her mouth is worth it! I also saw great smiles from Lauren at the pool when I was playing with her.

The last smile I noticed yesterday was Tyler's. Did I mention that this summer is getting a bit long for Tyler. He's struggling. I hear him cry because he's board and lonely more than I see him smile these days. Well, we went to the pool yesterday and he loved it! He has learned to swim and he loves doing it. He wanted me to come watch him swim so I packed Lauren over to where he was swimming and watched him. He swam over to me and started tickling my armpits! I don't know why that idea came to him but that was definately his plan the whole time. He wouldn't stop tickling no matter what I said. He thought it was hilarious! And as much as I hated him trying to tickle me (it hurt not tickled!) I LOVED the smile that stretched across his face each time I protested. He was happy and his beaming smile showed it.

It's so easy to miss those moments. Like I said before, they probably happen everyday and I just don't notice. I am grateful that I noticed yesterday though. I have thought over each of those moments and how peaceful and happy I felt right then.

Bear Lake

We just returned from our 4 day family reunion at Bear Lake. This is an annual tradition with Nate's extended family. In fact, Nate's aunt figured out that this tradition has been going for more than 50 yrs! Nate has a great family. I love spending time with them. I am grateful that my kids are creating Bear Lake memories just like Nate did. Abby and Alex lived on the beach and out on the boats. They also loved spending time with cousins they know and meeting new ones. Tyler and Lauren were a little harder. We rented a trailer so Tyler would have somewhere to hang out with no bugs. It was hard to get him to come down to the beach. Lauren wasn't a huge fan of the beach either but she was easier to get down there. I had my moments of self pity, wishing that my kids were more "normal". But mostly, I just tried to enjoy the good moments with them and ignore the frustrating ones! I loved the few times I was able to sit in the shade by the beach and visit with the ladies! Nate was able to play golf and horseshoes so he was in heaven! It was a great trip all around!

As a side note, please ignore the terrible quality of the pictures. That's a story for another time!

Here are Nate and Tyler after their little game of baseball. It shows the view of the property. It is a great place!

This is Abby with her sand castle creation.

Here is Alex. He was watching Nate play horseshoes at the time.

Here's an action shot of Nate playing horseshoes.

Just a cute picture of Lu.

When Tyler went down to the beach, this is where you would find him! It was his special lounge chair!

Abby with her cousin Renae. She loves Renae!

I am so happy that we already have our week reserved for next year!

Magic age of 8

Alex has hit that magic age. I don't know if it's the same for every 8yr old but it's been great for Alex. Don't get me wrong, he is still Alex but there are some moments that give me hope for him!

He is becoming more aware of needs. He responds quickly when he sees that I need help. The last 2 weeks we have gone to free summer movies. The only way we can see a movie is if we bring a carseat to strap Lu into. You should see Alex trying to carry that carseat for me while I wrestle Lu. It's heavy for him and he can't hardly see where he's going but he does it because he sees I need help. I love it!

Last week we took a day trip to Temple Square. It was a great day. Lu really latched onto Alex for some reason. For a time she wouldn't hold my hand or get into her stroller but she would hold Alex's hand and stay with him. After a while she lost the desire to hold his hand and started running off. He tried his hardest to stay with her and direct her back to me. It was fun to watch him struggle with her(probably because for once it wasn't me!). Finally he sat down and said "Mom, this is hard work". I loved it!

That same day we went to Deseret Book and he picked out new scriptures. He is getting baptized in a couple of weeks. He has loved these new scriptures! He wants me to read them to him quite often. We had a magical moment recently where it was just me and him and we were reading his scriptures. He wanted me to share my favorite scriptures with him and mark them. I really enjoyed this time with him. I would find a great scripture and explain why I loved it. I loved sharing my testimony with him. I know he loved it too. It was a very special time with him. Here he is with his new scriptures.

I am learning that as a mother you have to enjoy the small moments to be happy. I have been so blessed to enjoy some of those small moments with Alex lately. I'm going to hold onto those tight for the times ahead when I'm certain to need them!

Lu

This is Lu sitting under our picnic table eating raw corn on the cob. It was her first time with corn on the cob. Last summer we cut it off the cob for her. After we cooked the corn she had no interest in it! She's a funny girl. She has found that it's shady under the table so when we are outside we often find her sitting there or laying there in the shade!